Of Late

Life has continued at its pace, as it is wont to do. I'm just now finding time, the day after Christmas, to share what life has held these last months. So we'll do that, with Christmas soon to follow. 

Tim had the opportunity in November to travel to Japan for some meetings, and to fit in some time of connecting with the wider arts world, as well. Just looking at this picture makes me long for the feeling of chilly rain, as I sit in (interminable) 90 degree temps...

Meanwhile, Granna flew in to be of help to us in Daddy's absence, and she got to do so many wonderful things while here. Including seeing boys get new taekwondo belts...

...and seeing Emmy as an orphan in 'Annie'!

she was splendid

We celebrated Loy Grathong with church family...

...and then it was Thanksgiving. Our Thankful Tree was full as we counted our blessings; even in a year of heartache, God is good to give so much joy.

We spent the day with our team family (can you find Granna?)

And then it was time to Deck the Halls (dog unwilling to be held and photographed, Daddy sick on the couch...)

 Asa continues in his passion...

Then Tim was off again to spend some time with the men on our team in southern Thailand.

And I just had to include this one of the shirt Tim made for Julian of one of his favorite book characters, 'Ricky Ricotta's Mighty Robot'.

More to come soon...

PawPaw

July 2015

It's strange that Daddy has been gone for two months. I've hardly possessed the wherewithal to write about it, except in my faithful journal that traverses all circumstances with me. The time we spent last summer in Georgia was golden, and more so filtered through the lens of the end that so quickly came after our departure.

This is from my journal, written on September 2, one day after we celebrated 9 years with our Asa and as we knew Daddy was living his final days with us.

I have reached the stage in my life where my heart is split- my precious Asa turned 9 yesterday and I reflect on the beauty and gift of his life with deep thanksgiving. My heart meanwhile aches for Daddy, lying in his hospice bed in Georgia, sleeping away the pain of the disease bent on destroying his earthly frame. I am in the middle, focused on the life and growth and newness of experience of these dear children God has given, bursting with joy as they walk the path ordained for them, so early in their journeys...AND my focus is simultaneously on the end- my heart somehow outside of me, residing in that now quiet room across the world, where one of the people God ordained to give me life traverses the end of his journey. His body is of little use now as the illness has diminished his frame, but his spirit, his 'made in the image of God'-ness, still strives. He walks through his children and grandchildren, his sister and brother and nieces and nephews and cousins, his many friends- he walks through the love and relationship sown in our hearts through years of life together- of laughter and joy and sorrow and holidays and motorcycle rides and hunting and fishing trips and races and cookouts and conversations. You lie and rest now, Daddy- we're walking for you.

I am so grateful that I was able to travel back to be with my family as we said goodbye to him and celebrated his life. The kindness and love that surrounded me everywhere I turned during that time can hardly be described- a fitting reflection of the kind and good heart of the God who weeps with us in our grief. 

A Week Can Hold So Many Things

Like birthday marathons. My birthday and Asa's follow one another in rapid succession, so we have a week of birthdays. We will have to make do with low quality phone pictures for my birthday, but memories are memories...

out for Lebanese- arguably the best food in the world- love Ju's smile here

celebrating with our team family- preparing to indulge in an amazing cake made by Julie

The one high quality photo I have is of a gorgeous and creative gift that Tim happened to photograph before giving it to me. He asked some friends and loved ones to write haiku poems to me, and bound them beautifully in a little book. I smiled and laughed all the way through it- one of my favorite gifts ever.

love the gold leaf detail. had to put your creativity on display, Nells- 'twas the only photo he took!

We celebrated our sweet Asa with great joy- he's so very celebrate-able, my tender-hearted warrior boy. We began with a smallish gathering of boys who enjoyed a Lego challenge, make your own pizzas, and a classic Robin Hood movie...

everyone drew a challenge out of a hat and had 30 minutes to create on their theme- 
sadly, we're missing a couple of boys here

...and they enjoyed this gorgeous Tim-decorated cake on Asa's favorite literary theme.

 

 His real birthday found us celebrating with a traditional cupcake in bed...

...cupcakes in class...

...and cupcakes at dinner- I think we enjoyed enough cake to last us for a good long while...or at least until Tim's birthday next month:)

Even as we celebrated all of this life, I found I could no longer communicate with Daddy by telephone because he has begun sleeping so much, and we're getting word every day of greater decline. Joy and sorrow all mixed together. Praying for grace to walk well within it all.

Transition

Three weeks. It's been three weeks since we've begun this experiment in life stage, jumping from one to another. It always happens- the far off time always comes in life, even though you can't imagine its actual arrival. I was reading in my journal from last January, when this teaching opportunity first presented itself; my thoughts on the changes to come...

I'm keenly aware that I'm in the waning autumn days of this season of life, this sweet season of being full time at home with young children, with my focus almost solely on family and home matters. My days, if I enter work outside of our home, will no longer be light teaching, reading and being read to, cleaning, laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping, trips to the park. Instead they will be spent in the classroom, interacting with many children, participating in the mission of the school. 

I can say with surety that I have been present and delved deeply into this sweet season, reveling in its joys and wrestling with its challenges. There have been hard days and grueling stretches, and I have made many mistakes; I have asked God to cover over my failing and be their Father, and He has been faithful. 

And now as I stand literally on the brink of making a decision and commitment that will alter the course of our days, will set me on a course as an educator again, I ask for wisdom. For discernment. For clarity to enter in with eyes wide open and a heart surrendered...I'm teetering between two worlds- the one that brought me home almost 12 years ago, filled with babies and feedings and naps and exhilaration and exhaustion...and the one to come, filled with growing children and growing older and real responsibilities to people who don't share my last name...

And now we're living it. Julian spending his days in a first grade classroom, entering school with his big brother and sister. Early mornings for me, and my days spent in many different classrooms, covering for regular classroom teachers. Coming home exhausted after a day of being 'on' for many people, needing to unwind and then take up the mantle of responsibility of home. I knew this time would be a major transition, but I didn't know how incredibly tired I would be- carrying the emotional weight of Daddy's illness on top of the life change is so very wearying...but I am thankful, and I know I will soon adjust. What a privilege to be a part of advancing the mission of a school that is seeking to make God's name known and loved among a vast majority of families who don't know and love Him, fulfilling that mission by offering high quality education and a loving, grace-filled environment. I know that God knows what I need and has given me this good gift.  Some glimpses of these days...

 official!

Ju and classmate partner reading

love this of the brothers going to taekwando together for the first time!

brothers coming home from school- so wonderful to be close enough to ride!

Like No Other

How much life can be lived in 2 short months! These months have been far too full for the indulgence of documentation and reflection, but I'm going to attempt some of that now. This has been a summer like no other for us. School ended at the beginning of June and we said goodbye to 6th and 2nd grades, and goodbye to home school. I think that transition is worthy of its own post, and I probably need space to process it more fully.

This was a summer that held travel to three countries for part of our family, two for the remainder, much time with precious people in our lives AND preparation for significant new beginnings.

As we began our summer, Emmy and I had the privilege to travel to Singapore together for a long-anticipated growing up girls weekend (oh, the joy of credit card travel points!). I know this weekend will remain in my mind as one of the most significant things we've done together, and an investment in her future and our relationship. We worked through an excellent weekend's worth of discussions on various issues that cemented the fact that we can talk about ANYTHING, and now have discussed most of the big things as she begins the road to adolescence.

with the Merlion, Singapore's city symbol

Upon our return, she promptly turned 12, and had long asked to spend her birthday at the beautiful Jim Thompson House in Bangkok. We had a lovely day giving thanks to God for 12 years of the joy He has given us in her, and we also just enjoyed being together- our family is a gift.

Jim Thompson House, June 20, 2015

a birthday cake fit for an artist

Two days later we were off to the U.S.- we had not planned to go home this summer but were so thankful for the opportunity to be in Georgia as we continue to walk with Daddy through his journey of cancer. It was a hard, good, happy, sad time. We also were able to spend time with many beloved family members and a few friends who are family. The time was a gift, and I'm thankful for the advice of many wise people who told us, "There's never enough time. Go if you possibly can."

July 2015

Leaving in some ways felt like a tearing away this time, yet there is a quiet assurance that this is where God has us and He is doing good things, building beauty through new endeavors and faithfully building His church as we continue to labor. After a week back I found myself sitting in meetings at my NEW JOB. God has graciously given me a ministry of education in the international school we have come to love these last 6 years as our children have grown there. With Julian set to begin his schooling adventure in first grade, it seems God knew that it would be healthy for me to have a place to pour my energies and use my training and gifts. He is also very gracious to give me a position for this year in which I can transition gently back into education, as a full time substitute who works daily in classrooms all over the school, without the full responsibility of a classroom of my own.

Asa with a new friend on a cultural excursion with the school's new staff

FOUR Mills heading off for the first day of school!

But wait! Before the official beginning of school, after the week of orientation, we squeezed in one final special event, MTW's Asia-Pacific Area Retreat. This is an event that happens only once every four years, and it is a time designed to bring refreshment to workers on the foreign field and to support our children in their journey as third culture kids. It was a sweet time of learning, resting and being with many dear 'family' members on our team and within our organization. God was good to give us the privilege of going, with so many other things vying for our schedule.

With our teammates/friends/family the Henrys, at Legoland Malaysia

big group of special folks from Intown church in Atlanta- some serving on the field, some providing pastoral care, some coming a LONG way to help love our children at the retreat!

As we returned and prepared to begin school, we received the news that our dear Papa, Tim's grandfather, had passed away. One of the gifts of our time in Georgia was the opportunity to hold Papa's hand and tell him goodbye, as we knew the end of his life was nearing. What a life it was. He was a 94 year old, Godly, dynamic man who loved 3 wives well and sent two to heaven, drove a tank in WWII, and never failed to ask us about our lives and ministry and to encourage us, even in his final, weakest time of life. There are many other things we could say about this life beautifully lived. As we shared the news with the children, there were tears, but also joy as we reflected on the Godly heritage Papa has passed on to us, and the privilege we have to take that torch and continue to run the race for God's glory.

Tim and Papa, 2014

Joy and Sorrow

These are heavy days as we are far from my daddy, who is very unwell. My spirit is bending beneath that load, and we pray continually for him and for those dear ones who are carrying the load in close proximity.

Intertwined with the sorrow of this life is so much joy, and that's what I'm reminding myself of today through sharing these glimpses of the sweet that has characterized much of the every day these weeks past...here's a flyover and A LOT of pictures...

our first race together- wacky color run!

 Easter morning at home...

before our annual indoor egg/scavenger hunt

prizes at the end...a fun find at the fancy grocery store!

 

 ...and at Grace City- such a special day of celebrating Christ's resurrection.

this was a fun night- we had a balcony full of people enjoying the lunar eclipse through our telescope!

Ju conquers the mountain on our Songkran hike

inside the cave at the end of our hike- we have spent Songkran with these friends five years in a row now...love them

we celebrated one year at Grace City with a baptism and new members- was a sweet time

intramural soccer- go orange!

green belt black tip- movin' up the ranks

Tim took some Grace City folks to Hong Kong for a justice conference...

Mother's Day- I am beyond blessed by these children

one of my favorite beautiful things about this sometimes challenging place we call home- a reminder of God's goodness right outside our door

And a fun one from my time with Daddy- a whirlwind trip that was time well spent